I just saw this in the July magazine and had to come speak up. I am a parent to five children ranging from 5 to 18, am heavily tattooed and married to a tattoo artist. I like to think I am a pretty responsible and trustworthy person, as is my husband.

I have five awesome, responsible, smart, funny, socially conscious children. One of the 18 y/o wants tattoos, one does not. The ten year old got his ears pierced at 8, when he could take care of them and not before (he had been asking for years before we allowed it). The two younger ones aren’t quite there yet. My youngest is a girl and absolutely will not have her ears pierced until she can take care of them (and yes, she has asked many times and can tell you now that she can’t have them until she can clean them).

Sometimes looks are indicative of everything, but often looks are indicative of nothing. Just because I have bright red hair and stretched ears and visible tattoos does not make me any better or worse than the person standing next to me and it makes me worry for our children, that we are teaching them to judge others at so early an age.

I hate seeing things like this. I thought we were over this. I thought we had so many more important things besides what people look like to worry about (um, hello, Gulf, giant oil spill anyone? Flooding? Earthquakes? Starving children in America?).

I understand that people judge. When I go on a job interview I want to put my best face forward. I wear my hair down over my ears. I wear long sleeves or a suit jacket. I don’t wear crocs and blue jeans and a wife beater; I wouldn’t do that if I weren’t tattooed either.

To judge a child’s “goodness” based on tattoos and/or piercings? How is that fair to the child? How is that fair to your child? Is your child a bad person for befriending someone with tattoos and/or piercings? I mean, let’s just go that extra step. If you are enough of a fuddy-duddy to think that it automatically makes for a bad kid, how good is your kid if they buddy up to the bad kid? Do you have that little faith in the parenting job you did that you feel your child is unable to judge for themselves because you didn’t teach them to well enough? And let’s touch on that for a minute. By the time your child would be bringing home a friend with body modifications I have to assume they are at least 15/16 years old, and likely at least 18 because that is the legal age to tattoo someone without parental consent. So by, let’s just call it 16, you have zero faith in your child’s ability to make an educated decision about who their friends are? I feel sorry you, if that’s the case. That is a huge parenting failure if you ask me. I may not like the friends the 18 year old brings home, but they aren’t knocking over convenience stores or doing drugs. I’m just old and don’t relate *laughs*

So getting back to me. Here I am. My ears are 3/4″ and I am visibly tattooed (pretty heavily at that) and my hair is three different shades of red. I’m not your typical 30-something, but I’m not so untypical either. I cloth diapered. I compost. I recycle. I breastfed. I babe-wore. I co-slept. I cook from scratch at least five nights a week. I schlep to ballet and tap and guitar and therapy and doctors and dentists and school. I’m not so different from you. My giant phoenix on my arm? Memorial to my sister who died a few years back. That bad ass bowling piece? A memorial for my mom who died a couple years after my sister. My ears? Started stretching them at 15. My  navel ring (the only piercing I have left, btw, that isn’t in my ears) I had done at 14. I begged for it. It’s still in. Yep, to you I am a fat, pushing middle-age, over-sized child who you probably think is clinging to her youth.

To me I am a beautiful goddess, transforming myself into who I am supposed to be right now.

I knew who I was fifteen years ago the same as I know who I am now, and will know who I am fifteen years from now; If you were afraid of who I was then you are probably still afraid of who I am now and who I will become. That makes me sad, because you are probably missing out on an amazing and loyal friend, all because you were afraid of something different. Do you really want your child to miss out on such an amazing person too, or make that person miss out on your child?

When my sister got sick, and I found myself with a house to help run, I took it one step at a time. When she died, and we had a funeral to plan, and a family to keep from falling apart, I took it one step at a time.

When my mom got sick, and I found myself with two extra children and a sick mom and a dad who did all right but wasn’t 100%, I took it one step at a time and I got us through today. Then I got us through tomorrow. When she got really sick and she died, I was still stepping.

A thousand other little things happened, and a thousand more will go wrong in the future, but the best you can do it put one foot in front of the other, take one step, and it’s one step closer to your next goal.

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” Lao Tzu

So, we’re all a part of the One Step tribe. We all know how hard life can be. We all continue to take that one extra step, and when we find we can’t, someone is there to help us go just a little further forward.

I have a friend who is on a massive One Step journey right now, and she has a lot of help staying her path. Thinking about her got me thinking about this. It might be time to ink my foot onto my body somewhere.

Before the end of January, I completed my first tattoo. It was smaller than a quarter, but it fulfilled my own requirement of doing this before the end of January. I know it was stupid, but this has been going on for two years, and I told myself if I wasn’t ahead of where I was last year, or the year before, that was it. So Michael let me do a cute piece Malachai drew a bit ago and I don’t feel so much pressure from myself now. Phew!

We went to Orlando (Disney) in January as well, both to celebrate with Michael and Sara who turned 18 and to celebrate Eshiva turning 5. It was a super quick overnight trip, so we didn’t make plans to visit with anyone. She had a blast. She got her birthday pin and heaven forbid anyone not say Happy Birthday to her – she made damn sure they saw her pin lol

Dorian went to the orthodontist and he goes back the end of March to get his braces. Malachai hasn’t started his yet, but we’re getting there! He goes back I think the end of this month.

I went to the periodontist and had a gum therapy transplant thingie done yesterday. I am slightly better than miserable but not entirely well. It was a stupid nothing and I am surprised it took so much out of me. I put the details behind a spoiler tag for those who don’t want to hear. It’s not so bad, but it’s not so good either.

Next Tuesday I have a filling to be done and a spackle job (I have a tooth with an imperfection she wants to smooth over, it’s always been there though *shrugs*) and sometime near the end of March, when I am fully healed, I get to start braces. Yay! What stinks is I wouldn’t have had to do the surgery if I didn’t want braces. Yep.

I reapplied for FlaKidCare last night (I have to do this every year) and I am hoping our payment doesn’t go up.

Dorian made the A/B honor roll. Malachai got a citizenship award. Eshiva has strep. I think the boys made out better

We had a little birthday party for her on Sunday and all but one family called and said they couldn’t make it for one reason or another. I kind of felt like I did in jr high when I’d have a party and maybe 3 people would show up. It sucks. I’m buying cupcakes to take in tomorrow or thursday, depending on when she goes back.

Taxes came in, and went out just as quickly. The boys got their DSis, Eshiva got two new games for her Leapster (and will get a couple of hand-me-down Didj’s when the time comes). Michael got a new TV and is having some dental done and I replaced my laptop with a desktop. Camp for the kids is paid for (that was actually first before any purchases).

Dor starts music lessons on Monday! So I get this random ass phone call a couple weeks ago on a number I never give out. Whatever, I figure we wound up on a list from the school system (pretty much the onlyplace that has that number). So today Dor gets “interviewed” and I forked over a 45$ enrollment fee (good for all three kids) and Dor starts music lessons next week.

He chose guitar. He gets 6 weeks of basic lessons on a student guitar and I think we have to buy a better one after that. We’ve got a cheap Target one, but the guy said it looked like the student one. Whatever.

We pay 20.85 a week for 1/2 hour of private and he 3 hours of group lesson. Monday from 6 – 6:30 he’ll get private, and from 6:30 – 7 he’ll get group (the group is from 6 – 7 on Monday, 6 – 7 on Wednesday and 9 – 10 on Saturday). I think I’ll have Michael take him on Saturday.

I think he’s excited! They’ll teach him how to read and write music as well as how to play.

My gram isn’t doing so well, so I am kind of worried about that. They came out for E’s party, but left a little earlier than usual and she looked real bad.

I hate to end on a bad note, but I can’t remember what else is going on right now that is taking my attention away from here and landing it elsewhere. I’m tweeting, so that gets pumped to FaceBook. I haven’t found a way to pump it to here You’re probably happy about that lol It’s just easier b/c I can do it on the go from my phone. I’m not even really blogging – this will probably get copy/pasted over to my blog just so I have a record of it there too.

Ah, to end on a good note, 5 things I am happy about right now:

• We’re going to Melting Pot on Monday
• Other than some achiness I am healthy
• the kids are doing well in school
• My husband loves me more every day and always lets me know
• I’ve got some work coming in – always nice to have a little extra money!

Oh, we all have strep this week (boo), Eshiva turned 5 yesterday, I bet there is more, but I’m drawing a blank.

The pipe out front popped this morning. It happened last year. Except the flood is in our front yard because of where the pipe is. So yah. It’s being fixed but what a hassle. The cold make the PVC pop. Yep, SoFl got cold enough for busted pipes. Better than frozen busted pipes! I guess it’s a good thing the new neighbors were moving in at 2 AM?

Orkin is calling me Monday about coming to spray for the fleas. We’ll nee to board the dogs, but since they are calling Monday, it will be the following before we can have them out. Oy.

I also need to get my oil changed (we didn’t make it in last week), phone the HOA and find out where I send a letter about having speed bumps put in the neighborhood and find out when the next meeting is so I can make a nuisance of myself when they ignore my letter, and a handful of other things I need to do. Why are my Monday’s always super crazy?

Michael works on Sunday, so Monday isn’t a tattoo Monday – I am way behind. I am really really anxious to finish my arm so I can start the other one. I am also really anxious to start on him.

Second, and for my own records, I am still stumped on this whip shading thing. Lining = check. Solid = check. Watered down black to make greywash = check. Whipshading = fail. However, we have an entire huge collection of tattooing dvd’s and whatnot, so maybe one of them explains it in a way that I get? I kind of got it down, but I had to turn the power way down. While Michael said some artists do that for shading, I’d like to figure out how most of them do it without doing so.

Third, I must have these shoes. Someone should get them for me. Yes, I want them in yellow. My Olssons recently broke, and needed re-soling anyway. Was it a hint? A shove to buy these beauties? I don’t know. I have a check coming that will cover them though…

and forth, my new system is working! The kids are keeping up on their daily personal hygeine and daily chores and so am I! I haven’t stuck to it 100%, but my floor is swept, my counter is cleared, and my laundry is (still getting) done. I’ve done four loads in the past two days and it’s pretty much all put away. I cleared out five baskets of clean clothes. (Don’t think me a clothes horse, it was five different people worth of clothes) The compost is out (Michael took it out this morning), the trash goes out tonight, the children and bathed and dressed and fed and we’re getting it done quicker and earlier in the day! They even earned homework points today for starting the Hebrew summer work (and if they finish the book, they get a prize when Hebrew school starts up again, so they win all around on that one).

I made rice today, which turned out over starchy and mushy. I thought a rice maker = idiot proof rice? Apparently not. I made Stitch & Mickey shaped unigari (with fake crab inside and furikake outside), and a terrible krab roll for Fish to take to work. The rice was just wrong Also sent him a handful of fake crab, and some fruit and some soy and furikake on the side. I’ll figure out this bento thing. I just need some practice. I’ll also figure out the rice lol

Around 11 we made it out the door and to Best Buy. Michael got his phone this morning (he bought the 8gig that dropped down to 100$ – more on that later) and is in heaven. He’ll be fiddling with it all night I’m sure He opted to get the “old” one instead of the new one as I told him if he did, he could spend the rest of what he saved on a tattoo book he wants to update. The author has a deal that he’ll send a check back if you return the old version to him, kind of a rebate for having purchased the original version. Yep, I bribed my man.

Then we dropped him off at work and went to therapy. Then on the way out the kids were horsing around and Dorian slammed Malachai’s arm (around the elbow) in the sliding door of the van. Poor kid. I spent five minutes trying to pop an instant cold pack which wouldn’t pack, so I spent ten minutes driving home with a wailing child. Called ahead and had an ice pack waiting on us. He seems OK now – gave him some ibuprofen for the swelling and he flipped through the new bento book that came. He’s on the computer now. Guess he’s all right Dorian felt awful.

I have to go make dinner. I have garlic-ginger lo mein on the menu (it was a hit last week) but I didn’t defrost the chicken and I have two pot roasts that need to be made in the fridge. I think I waited too long though (which I did yesterday too) as they should have gone in the crock this morning. I forgot I wouldn’t be home at 1 to put it in. Tomorrow maybe… that leaves something for tonight though.

Tattooed a little yesterday. I like shading with the rotary better than the coil machine. Eshiva has the skully I did on her arm – silly girl. I love that the stencils make her so happy.

I know my limits. I am still working on melons people. My shading is… shady My linework & solid fill are tight – on melons. Even my greywash wasn’t too bad. My whipshading *sucks*.

My opinion is, if I can’t do it all, I wont touch a person and if I am not willing to work on me (I don’t want that shit on me!) then I will not work on another person either. Eventually someone will have my first piece, and my second, and third, ad infinitum. Waiting is not done yet.I have the healthy attitude of “wow, this sucks!” because it can only get better. I am not overextending my reach. Not yet anyway

It just drives me batty to see what could be amazing work, if it was done by someone who was a little more skilled.

Michael keeps telling me that old joke, How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice.

Too true. I am very frustrated with my work right now. My shading needs work. I needed him to help me with a piece I did for someone else this morning (graphic design, not tattooing) because I kept making the same mistake over and over because I couldn’t see beyond it anymore. I am kind of beating my head against a wall creatively right now anyway.

Anyway, back to the point of this – I thought the Green Monster had gotten a hold of me, but after stepping back, I don’t think it’s true. I think I am just seeing more and more scratchers out there and it’s a shame. I mean, by all means, get that shit. Then come pay my husband five times as much to fix it – you are supporting my family when you do that. I just hate to see such bad work that has the potential to be good work from the get-go.

practiced whip shading (um, I need more practice )

And now Michael is playing D&D with Dor, Mal & Michael and I am watching Harry Potter (#1) with Eshiva. We went to see Night at the Museum last night, and it rocked. It’s definitely on the “to get” list. I think we’ll do some sand art tomorrow before Michael goes to work. I can’t believe it’s almost Tuesday already. Time flies.

I have some actual drawing to do for work – I want to get down to Pearls and replace my pencil though… I wonder if MIchael’s has one. It’s much closer. I wont spend as much too – Pearl’s is like an artists porn store lol Thank god we don’t have a brick & mortar Blicks near by!

All in all, it went well. I have another appointment in June to have the mid-range deep cleaning and the other two cavities filled. Joy!

I’m actually kind of relieved – I was expecting this to suck and the dentist was really cool. I’ve never had terrible experiences at the dentist, but really, who loves going?

I also bought this twirl skirt pattern from crazy couture boutique. It’s a pretty easy drop skirt that will make Eshiva giddy with it’s twirliness. It’s a word.

Since we put out the sewing machine, I have some ideas. I need to dig through my fabric. Sadly, most of it was purchased to make slings and isn’t really suitable to clothes. I’ll have to see what I really have in those bins though. Might be time to freecycle most of it and hit the sale bins at the fabric store.

I am making a Whole Addiction fan page on FaceBook, and I made a Twitter page the other day. Please check out http://wholeaddictiontattoo.com and check them out (the links are there), especially if you are local, or pass them on if you know locals (local being the world, because we’re so global!)

Hm, I bet this is more, but I mainly wanted to put the two patterns I bought out there and mention the Whole Addiction site.