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Weddings…

22 January 2009 By Leave a Comment

Michael and I had a handfasting, performed by friends and it was lovely. My family wasn’t there… my family barely knew about it. I wore huge black jeans, and a black tee and boots. It was very… us… ten years ago. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Then the next year, we had a court house ceremony. It was paid for by a friend, accompanied by her, and one other friend, and Dorian (um, and embryo Mal). It took less than twenty minutes, Michael went to work right after and I went home. I don’t remember what I wore… I think I wore my friends (one who wasn’t there) wedding dress (which was just a dress, it was from her… second wedding IIRC), he wore his work suit.

Two years ago, I had a friend (who I don’t really talk to anymore b/c we’re too different) tell me she wanted to have a proper Jewish wedding for me at the shul, and it never happened.

Now? I don’t really want to have a wedding. My mom wont be there. My dad wont care (he hates going to shul, for any reason whatsoever). No one will be here to be frilly with  me or get excited, so whatever, you know?

I am really looking forward to Sara getting married. I’ve never even been to a “proper” wedding that I can remember. I am looking forward to experiencing it. Eshiva too, but Sara is a bit closer lol

I have been thinking, for a while, that Michael and I might see about renewing our handfasting in 2010, but seeing as we aren’t near enough to anyone to do the ceremony, it probably will not happen. I think we might try to go on a vacation instead.

Just rambling I suppose.

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Bah Humbug

14 December 2008 By Leave a Comment

No, it’s not that bad. Give me some credit. We’re a week away from Channukah. All but one main gift is wrapped (one isn’t even here yet), I’ve got some extra goodies that will be here on Wednesday on their way as well. I think I might pick some of their stuff out and set it aside for… later. I don’t know when later will arrive, but it’s tempting. While we did not over buy, we did wind up with some extras. I am all about setting them aside as special gifts for special things.

The 21st is the first night. We’ll be at shul for a bit for their festival, and my Gram & Aunt are coming over for dinner that night. The next night my Gram & Zaide are coming over. Busy week ahead! I need to make sure we have candles, and the menorah is clean, not to mention the house. We need to make latkes. Fresh or from a mix? I don’t know yet.

The kids are out of school the 2oth – 4th. We’ll go up to LCS I think, and the park, and some other stuff. Michael has some bowling coupons, so that’ll be fun.

I had this huge, actual post planned out, but it left. Maybe it iwll come back later.

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Why is Judaism synonymous with McCain?

18 September 2008 By 2 Comments

Seriously, please tell me why. I am actually physically ill right now with the copious amount of articles I can find with Jews supporting McCain/Palin and their disgusting ways. I am having considerably more trouble finding Jews for Obama type articles.

Maybe I am looking in the wrong places? I go to Chabad. It’s an ultra-orthodox shul. I am not ultra-orthodox, but they accept us, and we can’t afford to go to the reform shul. So SuperJew it is!

Why is SuperJew so incredibly not… super? Why is SuperJew anti-abortion, even when it’s rape? Why is SupoerJew up McCain’s ass?

I cannot find a single thing I agree with McCain/Palin on. Not a one.

I like to think I am a good Jew. I might not be as Jew-y as SuperJew, but the Torah teaches us there is no such thing as a bad Jew. The Torah teaches us love, compassion, understanding, and so many more things, I just cannot understand why SuperJew wants to keep so many of my friends from being married, wants to force women who have been raped (possibly by family!) from having abortions, wants to keep women who might die if they carry a child from abortion. Why does SuperJew want the shackles of religion controlling the government? If God is in charge of the US, can we start taxing God? Can we start repealing the commandments? We’ll take them, one at a time, to the supreme court. I bet if we get the right judge and jury we can have them repealed too, right along side Roe. Vs. Wade and so many other long standing, landmark cases, as well as some newer ones.

I google Jews & Obama. These gems are the first few entries:

http://jewagainstobama.wordpress.com/

http://jews4barack.com/mythfacts/?page_id=40

I am not even linking the creepy articles I’ve seen. Oh, sure I will. To get a good idea of how they think, read this one. Want satire? Try this.

Now before you think wrongly of me… I love being Jewish. I love the tradition. I love the comfort it brings me when I really need it and I love the freedom it allows me when I don’t. It is not my be-all end-all. It can’t be, because if there is a God, and s/he controls everything… I just don’t want to know. Too many things have gone wrong for me to be willing ot believe that. That said, I also do a lot of things that go against the teachings of the Torah. And that is OK by me, because I am not out to be SuperJew and I am not yet willing to devote my life to those teachings. Maybe I’ll never be. Maybe in another lifetime.

It frightens me just how many people are supporting McCain/Palin because they are “down home people” (they aren’t, he married money and she’s a gun-toting hockey mom in charge of a population smaller than the bottom half of Manhatten, nothing against guns or hockey, but not my image of a VP) and I wonder how many trully believe what they stand for… or even know.

I may not exactly be “for” Obama… but I am most definitely again McCain. I am not afraid of genuine, positive change. Change that I think Obama can start (and maybe see finish!) and that I know McCain will not even consider, and will start us in reverse. We certainly don’t need another four years of the Bush administration (or worse!), why elect someone hwo will be more of the same? Sure, the same might be comforting and familiar, but what have you been complaining about for the past eight years? SuperJew, it’s up to you to help do something different, and I have faith that come November 4, you will do the right thing, not choose blindly because it feels safe and familiar.

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Passover

15 April 2008 By Leave a Comment

This year we were not invited to my aunts house for Pesach dinner. No big deal. However, my Gram called me last week to ask what we were doing. I said nothing yet, I was going to call and invite you down. So we planned to have second night at our house, with my other Gram and aunt. Then somehow it turned into use going to my Gram’s house for second night (and inviting my dads mom and sister along too) and since my dads fam wont go to my moms fam’s house, we invited my dads fam over for first night.

I just got a call from my Gram and she said she isn’t feeling well and maybe I should just come pick up the food to bring home for second night. I told her I would call her tomorrow and see how she is feeling and we’ll go from there.

My entire life my Zaide has run the seder. My entire life. I have never, not once, not had seder with him.

I wonder if it is because my Gram is so old, she sounds tired all the time, her health is starting to fail. She’s been depressed since mom died. Well, first night is on moms birthday this year. So I wonder if she just doesn’t want to deal with us because of that. But it’s one more thing that I am losing – I have a feeling this would have been the last year I’d have to go to a seder with them.

We haven’t been invited to seder at any of the peoples homes from the shul – which is fine – a frum seder starts after sundown and ends around 2 or 3 AM – you get to eat around midnight. I don’t even know where to start to host my own – I know my dad wont conduct it, and it would take me forever. I can read Hebrew, but not that well, I’m quite rusty. My brother wont do it (I don’t know if he can) and Michael can’t read the Hebrew to do it.

I didn’t realize how much this upset me… I am not a religious person – not by my definition and measuring stick. I am a traditional person… and all my traditions seem to dead or dying. You do this because it’s what you do. I have no idea where to get a shank bone (can I ask the butcher at Publix? Does it have to be kosher? I feel like an ass calling up the Rabbi with these stupid questions – things I should very well know the answer to!). I know what food to cook, and I know what order to serve it in. I can’t run a Pesach dinner.

My dad doesn’t even want to have a proper dinner. We are having his mom and sister over first night, but they aren’t expecting a seder. They would be just as happy if we ordered in Chinese.

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Judaism

15 December 2007 By Leave a Comment

I just wrote this in response to someone asking about conversion.

If your mother was Jewish, you don’t need to convert, first of all. Judaism is matriarchal (it runs through the women) and even if you weren’t raised that way, you are. Now, if your mothers father was Jewish, and not her mother, then you aren’t Jewish by lineage. It has to be a unending line through the women. See, we are good for something lol

Outside of that, find a rabbi. Interview local synagogues. See which one you like. I grew up “conservadox” (somewhere in between conservative and orthodox) and more or less stay there. I hear the reform Jews are super lenient, and much of my family is reform. There is also a new movement… I can’t remember the name of it, that is very laid back.

DON’T JUMP INTO JUDAISM ALL AT ONCE! Not shouting, just loud. It wont work. There is too much. Pick one thing a week or even a month, depending on the size of it, and try it on, if it takes, good for you! If not, pick something else.

I am a traditional Jew, not an observant one. I benched after dinner for the first time in years last night (we were invited to Shabbos dinner, and I was given a book so I did. I was mighty proud of myself for remembering how!) and while I say once a week isn’t much to commit to, I don’t do it. Why? It’s not important to me. However, I do pray over the dead, for all yarzeits, for births, and a few other important dates. While I’m not a high holiday Jew (I actually avoid shul then, too crowded) I’m not a daily walk to and from Jew either. Maybe somewhere in between?

I’m sure this didn’t answer anything you asked. Judaism is the only religion to also be a race and a lifestyle. I know Christianity is a lifestyle, but in Judaism, you are living the Torah everyday (if you follow it that way). You are eating according to those rules, doing mitzvahs, giving charity, praying, and conducting your life around it. It’s a lot to take in, and it’s fascinating. Of course you don’t have to do everything, I don’t know many who do, but I think to make the decision not to do something you need to know about it anyway.

Check out chabad.org (they are the super frummies, but that site is so chock full of information, and if you have a Chabad house near you, give them a call or visit, they welcome everyone) and also jewfaq.org is informative.

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