We can. My oldest has been telling me for a week now that they might be getting the H1N1 vaccine at school and I’ve been telling him for a week that he is not getting the H1N1 vaccine and if he feels sick to tell me so I can monitor him and take him to the doctor if necessary. I’ve had this chat with the rest of the children too.

Today the boys came home with some papers. I have dutifully scanned them so we can discuss them. Actually, before I start ripping them apart I want to say this. I know a lot of people who have contracted H1N1 in the past few months. NONE OF THEM ARE DEAD. NONE OF THEIR WORKMATES OR CLASSMATES OR CHILDREN ARE DEAD. NONE OF THEM HAD MUCH MORE THAN A PLAIN OLD COLD/FLU VIRUS. Makes you wonder.

The first one (front, back) is your basic HIPPA info. I don’t care about these really. It’s pretty standard, and I just had to sign that I received them and date them.

Then comes the colourful pamphlet. The one they hope parents will skim over and not ask too many questions.

Let’s break this down into three panels on each side. front

Panel one – TAKE 3 Steps to FIGHT the FLU: These actions will protect against the H1N1 Swine Flu too!
Ok, I’m down with preventing the flu. Three (3!) easy steps? Rock!

Panel two – For more informations, phone numbers and URL’s to the local county health department, the start health department, the CDC, the CDC in Spanish, and Dept. of Health & Human Services. So far so good.

Panel three – Flu-like symptoms include (fever, usually high; cough; sore throat; headache; runny or stuffy nose; muscle aches; extreme\ tiredness; vomiting; sometimes diarrhea) and a note saying if you have any or all of those symptoms or think you have the flu, call your healthcare provider and discuss whether you need to be seen. OK, I’m down with that. Most of those can describe a common cold, or a man-cold, but as you get down the list it gets worse (around the muscle ache area) and I’d totally be concerned. Maybe not enough to call a doc, but these are new times, with magical flu virii that are a zillion times worse than plain old flu virus’. Or so they are trying to say, even though the H1N1 hasn’t presented with any more death and destruction than a typical flu.

back
Panel one – Take Everyday Actions. If you’re sick, stay home. Cover your moth when you sneeze or cough with a tissue and throw it out after. Wash often. Alcohol based cleaners are effective. Don’t touch your eyes, nose or mouth. Avoid sick people. I agree with all of this except the alcohol based cleaner bit. Maybe if we weren’t so goddamned obsessed with cleanliness and killing germs our immune systems wouldn’t be so out of whack and a cold wouldn’t so easily turn into a flu. If you don’t let your immune system practice it’s job, it’ll freak out when it has to work and it will shut down.

Panel two – Take time to get vaccinated. A yearly flu vaccine is an important step in protecting against seasonal flu. Can I interject? They just lost me. I have never had a flu vaccine, I never will, and I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had a “flu” and I bet what I thought was a flu was a real bad cold. Back to the paper. Vaccination is expecially improtant for people at high risk of flu complications including young children, pregnant women, people with chronic health conditions, and people over 65. It is also important for health care workers, and others who live with or care for people at high risk. A seasonal flu shot will not protect against H1N1. A special vaccine for H1N1 is being developed. People at greatest risk for H1N1 are pregnant women, young people (6 mo – 24 yrs) and people with chronic health conditions. Hi there, me again. First of all, this years flu vaccine is based on last years strain. The strain mutates so quickly that this years vaccine has a small chance of being effective. (Only about 20 percent of all “flu-like” illness is actually influenza and only three strains of the many strains of type A and type B influenza that may be circulating during the year are actually included in the influenza vaccine).

Panel three – take flu antiviral medicine if recommended. If you get a seasonal or H1N1 swine flu, you may get meds. Take them. Isn’t America pill happy? Don’t we take every pill we can get, and then some? Does panel three have to be a reminder to take your meds? Couldn’t it be instructions on how to properly wash your hands or where to find free or low cost healthcare if you suspect you are sick but can’t afford your regular doc (or don’t have a regular doc)?

Giant pamphlet page one – Please review and reply. It’s boring. It basically says review and reply.

Page two is telling us enclosed we will find info on the H1N1 vaccine that is being provided by the CDC and the form needs to be filled out by Oct 22. It’s telling us that the vaccine is recommended for all children aged 6 months to 24 years (this is uber important later on, so remember it). It is advising us that all children will receive the intra-nasal live attenuated vaccine unless your child has an underlying health condition (such as asthma, diabetes or is immune compromised). They will be getting the intra-muscular killed virus injection. It says how it is important to fill in the paperwork correctly so they get the correct vaccine and if they are younger than 10 they get a second dose in 4 weeks, which is also free and will be provided at school. There are some phone numbers and stuff too.

Page three tells us about the live vaccine. Let’s skip to point four, which is what really got me. Point four states that LAIV (the live vaccine) is approved for people from 2 – 49 years of age. People who are 2 – 24, or 25 – 49 and live with or care for infants younger than 6 months of age or are health care or emergency personnel. Remember back up there it said 6 months to 24 years? Double talk much? There is a box that states while certain groups should not get the LAIV vaccine, it is important they be vaccinated. They should get the flu shot.

Page four starts with people who should not get the vaccine. You should not get the LAIV if you have a severe, life threatening allergy to eggs or any other substance in the vaccine. Except it doesn’t tell us ANYWHERE in this paperwork the other ingredients. Other groups who should not get the vaccine include children younger than 2 and adults over 50, pregnant women, anyone with a weakened immune system, anyone with long term health problems (such as, but not limited to heart disease, ling disease, asthma, kidney or liver disease and some other stuff) oh and it goes on. But wait, didn’t a page or two back it say EVERYONE 6 months – 24 years old should get the vaccine, and it’s important for people with compromised systems to be vaccinated? I am so sick of the CDC/Health Dept. double talk.

Page five and page six are more of the same, except for the injectable dead virus, not the inhaled live one. The page with people who should not get the vaccine is limited to those with severe allergies and Guillain Barre Syndrome.

My biggest issue is, we don’t vaccinate. If there is an outbreak of anything vaccine preventable I am required by law (and I’d do it anyway) to remove my children from school and keep them home for the duration of the outbreak plus two weeks. Okie dokie, no problem. But what about this? It’s a freaking live version of the H1N1 (weakened or not, it’s still there) and they will be in a school with hundreds of little walking incubators. Do I keep them home? For how long? I am going to chat with them tomorrow morning int he office to figure this out. I am so not happy about this, you can’t even imagine. This isn’t like a handful of kids likely having their regular live vaccines. This is likely 99% of the school. I don’t want my kids getting sick because everyone else is in a snit.