Yesterday I had an ok kind of day up until it was time to take Mal to therapy. Yesterday was apparently take your mom to therapy day. No one told me. Almost every woman there her her mom with her for some reason, or her mom was picking her up, or she was on the phone with her mom… you get the picture. While I was slowly realizing this, it also occured to me that I spent a good portion of my life with my mom at various therapy joints (yep, they are joints now, just like bars and boites) and perhaps the universe was preparing me then for not having mom to bring with me now.

My world is entirely Jenn-centric. Isn’t yours?

I realize that the universe didn’t give us Erin just to prepare me for Malachai. That would be a little too Jenn-centric, even for me, but…. Well, you just never know, right?

So I texted my husband, whom I adore, and told him I was missing mom and I wanted to go out when he got home, even if it was just to StarFuckers or someplace like that, to sit. Well, Eshiva wouldn’t go to sleep, and finally did around 9.30, so we went out. Can I shoehorn in here, that my sister had her friend go home so she could keep an eye on Esh? She is such a love. I had him print out the free drink coupon for B&N, so that’s where we wound up.

Normally B&N is a bad, bad, bad idea for me. I can drop a hundo easy there, and usually do. Well, we get there, and I’m not even in the door yet and I realize I don’t want a cup of coffee (or whatever frou-frou drink the coupon is for) and we just shmy around for a half hour or so. I see a ton of books and magazines I want, but don’t get any. This is bad people, I am beyond pick-me-up shopping and into save the money, I don’t need it anyway territory. Everything I looked at was photography, graphic or cooking related. It all reminds me that I let everything fall by the wayside, that I can’t stick to doing anything. Which of course, puts my somewhat funky mood into piss-off territory.

So we come home, my husband feels like crap because he can’t fix it (and he isn’t expected to, but I appreciate the thought) and I get in bed and turn the lights out and listen to an audiobook. Fin.

This morning I was woken up at 6.30 because dad is still at work and will not be home to wake and take the twins to school. So I wake up Sara and Michael wakes up Michael and agian, being the love that he is, takes them to school because I just can’t drive at this hour safely.

Malachai was impressed with himself that he woke up before the alarm clock went off. We had a nice chat. He told me his teeth feel like there are little people in there playing them like xylaphones. He asked when his birthday was going to be. Tomorrow? No Mal. After tomorrow? After lots of tomorrows, yes. I have no idea if he understands time outside of yesterday, today and tomorrow, because any real length of time is just “after tomorrow.” I know he gets that it’s eight days to Halloween and ten days till we go back to the beach, but I think he still thinks of it in terms of “after tomorrow.” It’s kind of endearing.

Today is a half day, so I need to figure out what this afternoon will bring. Tomorrow is off, which will be interesting as we have Edinea at 9.15, so we’ll have to figure that out. Maybe we’ll take them all and go to breakfast after. We’ll see.