Fucker took it as me asking him to cover our hotel WHICH I WAS NOT DOING and which I made sure he understood later. He spent the rest of dinner asking me which hotel I was looking at and I kept telling him I didn’ tknow yet b/c I wasn’t sure what money looked like. I was going to pick one when we got there and see who gave us the best price. At the least I wanted like 100$ to cover a dump somewhere on 192 or to get a campground and set up the tent at Ft Wilderness lol

So I picked a hotel, a new one I’ve never stayed at, and figured he was going to call and see what price he could get and let me know (he had asked me to call and tell them we were Fla resident/season passholders and whatnot). We left to go bowling (it was Sunday) and I get a call at the alley and he’s telling me I have reservations. So I spent ten minutes explaining I wasn’t asking him to bankroll my freaking birthday trip. He asked if we had money for food for that weekend. I give up.

So we have reservations for the Coranado in November and he got the damn room for 117$ (tax included) a night. In other words, it wasn’t much more than the Clarion or Wyngate or a nicer (but not 4/5 star) room down on 192. I don’t feel as guilty over him paying for the room.

We’re headed to Orlando in November, just the two of us! We were looking at the Keys, but… I’m not really a drinker, and neither of us love the beach, so it seemed kind of silly to head that way.

I had my first crush in that bowling alley. I had my first lots of things in there lol

When I turned… 10 or 11 mom got transferred to another alley in Randallstown (the one on my arm is the Pikesville alley) which I also spent a ridiculous amount of time in. However, the one on my arm is duckpins, not tenpins. I played a lot of pool in them too.

Because you all had to know that.

———-

I remember the indoor “flea” market they had on bowling nights and the junk I had to have. They used to let me pick the winning 50/50 raffle ticket.

My first real job was as a short order cook at Timonium FairLanes.

Aunt Jackie used to tell me how when I was a baby in the stroller… she remembered one time I was playing with something on one side of the stroller – a nail or something holding it together. I turned to the other side to see if there was one on that side too. She used to tell me she knew I’d be a smartie from that alone. One time Erin’s chair flipped backwards (the Maclarren stroller – it used to do that a lot – unsafe thing!) and she remembered running down from the other end of the alley, mom right behind her, to pick her back up.

Funny things that pop up into mind sometimes.

Meh.

So I went through it. I tried on the opals, which Sara wants. I don’t want them anyway. I took her wedding band (I haven’t worn on in ages, as I outgrew my silver one) and I also took my dads original wedding band (the one he outgrew – I believe he’s been wearing his fathers).

I asked him to keep the rest. If he wants the box out of his room, I’ll find someplace in our room for it.

In other exciting news, school starts soon! That means I have time to paint, and I’ll have more time to tattoo and draw and otherwise do the things I’ve been putting off for the past almost nine years. Yay!

Sweater Girl
For Lisa Anne Auerbach, the yarn is the message

By Hadara Graubart | 7:00 am July 23, 2009 Print This Post

CREDIT: © Lisa Anne Auerbach

Lisa Anne Auerbach, 41, works in a unique medium: sweaters. They’re sweaters with messages knitted in, either through words (she has an “addiction to language”) or through images of icons like Barack Obama and Sandy Koufax. The Chicago-bred artist earned her MFA from the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena in 1994, and she’s lived in California ever since. Many of her works are on display now through October at the University of Michigan Museum of Art. She’s also at work on a series of sweaters for a festival in Nottingham, England, inspired by Robin Hood and the Luddite rebellion which began there in 1811, in which, she says, she’ll be “recasting the merry men as this group of anarcho-feminists.” She explained six of her works to Tablet.

http://www.tabletmag.com/news-and-politics/11096/unveiling/#5 There are photos – you should go look.

Unveiling
A photographer discovers Jewish gravestones at a tony golf course

By Ahron D. Weiner | 7:00 am July 21, 2009

As a photographer who spent years documenting Jewish sites throughout Eastern Europe, I have a perhaps heightened sensitivity to the use and misuse of Judaica. In town after town from—Prague, Czech Republic, to Uman, Ukraine, with plenty of small villages in between—I’ve found and photographed Jewish gravestones used as walls, as chimneys, and roads. So when I was walking with my 7-year-old son past the 17th hole of the Woodmere Club’s golf course, on Long Island, I was surprised to find a Star of David carved into a stone used as part of a retaining wall, protecting the course from the Reynolds Channel. I looked closer, and discovered hundreds of gravestones, many carved with Jewish names, used as embankment material. The New York Post reported on this yesterday; the club insists the stones—none of which seem to contain dates, only names and symbols—were extra granite, donated many years ago by long-dead club members. Here, for the first time, is a collection of my photos.

I am not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, they are grave markers. They aren’t housing the dead. They aren’t spiritually linked to anything. It’s a slab of engraved marble (or concrete or whatever). On the other hand, someone was loved enough that someone else purchased, and had engraved, this slab of rock.

Were they really donated? Were they stolen? Was the golf course built on an old abandoned cemetery and they repurposed the headstones but made up this cock & bull story about them being donated? If they were donated, how on earth do you convince such a large populous to donate, at the same time, (unused?) gravestones? It’s just weird.

Just spreading a little fantabulous news, Malachai had his therapy evals last week, and he is done with PT! This is amazing, because not six months ago he would fall over standing still. No joke. Now he can balance on one leg so long he can’t count that high (ok, maybe he can, but it’s a long time!)  He is still in speech and occupational therapies, but those are improving too. They will re-evaluate him in another six months. Maybe in the next six months he will learn how to sit in, and stay in, a chair

Not only is therapy going well, but he only missed one word on his spelling test today (out of ten words) and he has been helping me read Coraline at night. His speech therapist suggested I talk to the school and see what kind of literature we can tie into his daily work to keep him interested. He reads like crazy for her, not so much for me. Apparently, I just hadn’t picked the right books. We’re reading The Tale of Despereaux next (Dorian’s choice). I think I will be moving a bunch of books down the shelf for Eshiva, and finding some more appropriate books for Mal & Dor.

Speaking of Dorian, he is doing basketball after school once a week and he loves it. I think we’ll continue to do it once it’s up. It runs in five week sessions and he started last week. I looked into the local rec center for something for both the boys to do, as our PT suggested Mal do some type of sport. I don’t know what, but we’ll find something. I think they are looking into karate (ok, I am pushing karate) but I am not going to push it if he’s really not into it. We were also thinking bowling, but the PT specificaly said sports that work the entire body. We need to increase (and maintain) his muscle tone, as it’s significantly “below age level.” Eshiva is going to be taking a dance class once a week in the mornings, and she is uber-excited about that. She wont stop talking about it, in fact.

Shivie is a little chatterbox, and thinks she’s a princess. She recently discovered dinosaurs (and I wish we lived closer to DC, because there are no decent dino exhibits around here that I can find) and barbie. She turns four on Feb 10th and woe be unto you if you try and tell her she’s three.

Everyone else is well. Dad and Michael and still employed (yay!) and I am still getting enough work to buy fun stuff by freelancing (also yay!). Michael and Sara are looking into the SAT and making plans and doing all that fun 17 year old stuff.

Ah… I think that wraps us up! I’m sure there is more, but it’s daily stuff. I was just so excited about Malachai! He is still having troubles, but there is a light.

and I posted this to PM’s yesterday:

Michael was given written notification today that the therapy place we go is closing on Friday.

Fucking economy.

They are going to try to farm everyone out to other locations, and we may be able to keep our OT if the other place she works can fit him in (and if they take our ins and if it’s in a reasonable drive). Our ST was an intern.

What really stinks is I really, really like our ST, and WTF giving us one weeks notice?

I know we can find someplace else (hell, maybe the place a few blocks down the street takes our ins and offers what we need) but this still stinks.

and I posted this today as a follow-up:

Yay!!! Our rockin speech gal called me up this morning and told me that she interviewed this morning at a place that is even closer and they are working their hardest to absorb all of the speech therapists AND their clients AND keep the same schedule!

She gave me the number of the new place, and I left a message around 10AM. She phoned me back around 5:30, apologized for it taking so long to get back to me, and told me what was going on. They do take our insurance, and are working to have the approvals transferred to them from our current place. She is hoping to start Monday!

We see Courtney tomorrow and Thursday and I am just thrilled it sounds like we won’t have a lapse, at least here.

I still need to find out where the place our OT works is located (she was split between the two places I guess), if they take our ins, and if we can fit in over there. I really like our OT as well – not like I like our ST, but she is awesome with Malachai. I’d hang out with our ST, not so much with our OT.

But wait, there’s more! We’re adopting a new puppy!

So, we’ve been thinking about getting a companion for Malachai for a while now. Therapy dogs are quite expensive, and the “free” ones take a lot of paperwork and legwork. No doubt they don’t deserve it, but it was more than we needed. It’s not like we were looking for a seeing eye dog or anything, you know? So, we found this little guy! We’re picking him up either Thursday or Sunday.

He’s been there for a year! I can’t imagine why someone didn’t want to take him home, but I am glad they didn’t! We drove down to Ft. Lauderdale on Monday and went back to meet him. He is so friendly, and energetic and playful. He jumped up on Eshiva, but did not knock her down. The gal who showed him to us said he gets along with all the other dogs/cats in the rescue, have never bitten anyone, and is healthy. Apparently he was purchased from a pet store, and then got sick. He had demodectic mange (yes, just like our Yorkie) but his fur is full and thick and I didn’t feel any scabs or anything on his body. They said nothing about meds or anything else, and he is neutered. This is good, because Sasha is so sick, putting her through surgery to spay her would be too taxing on her immune system (so says the vet).

He is a year and a half old, and is the perfect size. Yay!

From the rescue site:
More About Patches/Atos: Patches was purchased from a puppy store. He is a sweet fellow who is good with other animals including cats. He is waiting for a forever home with lots of playmates or toys. Walks in the park or just around the block. Nice yard to play in but not totally necessary. Patches loves his toys!

Oh, he’s a beagle/basset mix. Cuteness!

Anything else? Probably not. I am sticking with good news right now.

I want to be able to hug another woman without it being more than a hug. I don’t have that relationship in my home with anyone other than my husband and my kids. I don’t hug my gram, or my aunts. If you know me, I’m not generally a touching kind of person so most people probably don’t think this matters at all to me, but… I really miss hugging my mom. I try to hug Sara now and then for this very reason.

When Passover was over last year, I bought something like a hundred yarzeit candles, because I got them for a quarter a piece and I’m never going to not need them.

I don’t know where I am going with this. It just hit me, so this is what poured out.

We are in the middle of Channukah, which was always a fun time for me, and in addition to basically half of my family being gone, it’s been a number of years since my entire extended family was able to get together for the holidays. I found out the other day my uncles were lamenting the same thing. The ones who were local (more or less) got together. The rest of us are so spread out

My uncle found this letter my mom wrote to her parents when she was 22, he scanned it in and sent it along to the family. Not only did it make me smile, and cry, but it provided my next tattoo, her closing will be along my other arm, so I can look down and see it always.

It’s a PDF, I’ve added a link, but posted is the piece.

Dorian came home with all of his supplies, books, everything we’ve paid for and less than half of which he will need at the new school. When I picked him up from his carpool this afternoon I was just told she was sad she heard it from D first. Well now, I tried to pin you down for a week to tell you. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. It just would have meant more convincing anyway. I didn’t need convincing. I needed a shoulder and a friendly voice telling me it was the right thing for everyone. Instead I got admonished about the mistake I was making, and that public is not as good as private. I told you yes, yes it is. I thought the same thing, until my sister almost failed out of the very same private, and is flourishing in public. My son, in public K this year is reading as well as my other son who is two years older. It is just as good. Maybe it’s better. Maybe not for everyone, but it seems to be for us.

If I had to have this conversation with  my mom, my mom who is the only reason I stuck it out this long, why I fought to keep him in that private school in the first place, would have nodded, and told me if it was what I felt was right, and given me that supportive shoulder. Even my mom, who loved that school, loved it’s administrators and loved it’s students, would have seen that her children, her grandchildren, were thriving outside of that school. She would have nodded, and told me that sometimes the best for one isn’t the best for all, and she would have known from experience.

Michael dealt with  most of this, because I couldn’t, because I felt like I was letting down my mom, some ideal of my mom. But in reality, I was letting down myself for hiding behind that idea. Always supportive, she would have stod behind me and given me the push to take of it myself. Well, I made the final decision, I walked in with Michael to tell them we were thinking of taking him out, and I went in with him when we told them his final day was the thirtieth. I did not go in all this week, or this morning when we paid for a missing book and to make sure his supplies would come home.

When I picked him up I could have just gotten him and left, but I went in to talk to Erin. We spoke, and she is saddened by my choice. I don’t see it as a loss. I see it as a gain. I am gaining at least three hours a day to play with him. I am gaining a more leisurely morning. No more rushing to leave by 7:30, but by 8:10. No more making dinner so early in the afternoon it’s barely past lunch time, because I don’t have to pick him up at 4 or 5 or 3:30. Everyone will be home by 2:45ish and that leaves our whole evening free.

I am losing things, but by my lists, by my weight system, I am gaining so much more.

I have no clue why it was outside, on the ground, or why it didn’t blow away (we have hurricane winds going on right now due to the storm off the coast). I have no clue why it was outside today, not yesterday, or tomorrow, or how it even got there.

Weird.