Quirky Mom, Quirky Family
You hark back to the days of Bettie Page and Marilyn Monroe.
You love the retro style and long for the good old days.
You love fantasy but in a classy way.
You’re a real girl, not an anorexic waif.
You have curves which many modern women lack.
More women should be like you.
What Porn Magazine Would Kill to Have You On the Cover?
i don’t really have anything to update, per se….
malachai is playing with the kick start gym we had from dorian.. more or less contentedly. it’s new to him. so you know, of course, as soon as it typed that, it scared the shit out of him.
my mom took dorian & the twins to dinner at the rabbi’s house. she took him as an early out.
i went to big lots and got a friend of mine’s daughter dress up shoes & stuff for her birthday. i hope she likes it.
i think i need some time to find me again. i know it sounds kind of weird to say i lost myself, but i think i lost myself in trying to be the perfect mom, or at least, what i think that is supposed to be. i am me, but i’m not. i don’t write anymore (and haven’t in years), paint, create…. whatever. it’s been along time. i just started this business, but it is all business-y, not fun in a quirky kind of way. *shrugs* i htink i need to get
chai is rolling over, he has mastered front to back, working on back to front. sometimes he gets it.
i miss my friends. i don’t see them enough. i should see them more.
i was thinking the other night, what if we can’t make it on our own? i mean, i am sure somehow we will… but once michael graduates, what if all he can find is some crappy 8$ an hour job? at this point, it would cost more than i could make to put the kids in daycare, which i refuse to do anyway. it just owrries me sometimes we will live here forever. i know we wont, but sometimes it is hard to see the sun at the end of the storm.
someitmes i just sit and wonder, where will we move to? orlando, jacksonville, a friend of mine’s hubbin is doing great in a shop in pensacola, but they are too much like georgia for my tastes….. i want to move north, but south enough to avoid the snow. maybe we will leave flroida. anything north of orlando is like a different state tho. who knows.
ah, ramblings. nothing phenominal, just day to day stuff. it’s hard to have a family of four these days, especially one on salary, and more so when said salary is what i call significantly less than 30k a year.
my butterballis rolling around on the ebd again, he is so funny.
had i not had my kids i’d be in a cushy job. or the company might have folded. who knows. but hten, i’d also not be married, or have met a lot of the cool people i have met in the last 3 or so years.
is it worth it? i love my kids, i love my husband, and i love that we are bettering ourselves. i just have to wonder if in bettering oursevles for the future, if we ar ereally limiting ourselves now…
just a postie to say hi to everyone
nothing much going on here. malachai is rolling front to back, and tries so hard to go back to front. too funny. he gets up on his hands and knees to crawl, i can’t believe he is doing it so soon! or maybe time is just going by much faster. he is a tongue baby too lol dorian never found his tongue till he was over a year, chai has known where his is since he was born
dorian is well, he is into blue these days, and wiggles still. oh, and bear. better than barney, i suppose. he is learning his letters, he is into b’s, and d’s, mostly b’s tho. and car’s.
michael is doing well in school, and the meeting for legalizing tattooing are coming up the first couple of weeks in December. hopefully we will have an income boost. would be mighty helpful.
my little business is coming along well, expecting some packages in the next few days, will get going.
that’s about it. if you are a friend and live far away, i miss you! you should come visit!!
*hugs* much love to all
you know, i was going through photos of dorians birth tonight, and i spotted the ones of when michael first saw him….. sometimes i take michael for granted. and i try not to. but my heart still jumps when he enters the room. and my heart felt it when i saw those photos. it was so sweet. i am so glad to have them. he was so happy, and was just immediately daddy. i can’t even begin to explain it. you had to be there i guess. but it makes me so proud to have him as my husband, as dorians daddy, as baby X’s daddy… things might not always be perfect, and i know you cant survive on love, but it makes up for a whole lot.
so i just had to share that.
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