What is July 25?

My sister died on July 25, 2003.

So it’s been seven years. And this year was it. I didn’t post about it. Well, I’m posting about it now, after the fact, because it didn’t occur to me to post about it then.

An internet acquaintance of mine recently lost her sister and I wanted so badly to tell her that no matter how awful it it now, it won’t be forever. I didn’t, because it wasn’t what she wanted or needed to hear. I told her I know it’s awful, and nothing I could say could make it better, and that was the simple truth and the best thing I had to say.

Apparently seven years is the magic “not forever” number. Who knew?

It might help that I don’t have anything else to associate the date with. September 16 will never come and go. It’s a scant two days after my eldest son’s birthday. She held on long enough to see him turn six, and that was that. Maybe it will come and go? Maybe it’s just still too soon, too fresh. I still can’t think of her without wanting to cry, my eyes stinging and tearing up. Maybe in 2013 September 16 will come and go and just be another day of celebration in Dorian’s Birthday-Week.

Let’s get this party started!

Alex’s mom, Connie Williamson, says she tries to give her son healthy food but doesn’t always succeed.

“When he gets up on his own, he’ll go find what he wants,” she says. “He’ll get a hot dog bun, or get a piece of bread. He’ll get an ice pop or something.”

And that’s exactly what he did early one morning, before his family headed out to the local food pantry. Alex ate a blue ice pop for breakfast.

How about starting by not purchasing ice pops? Then teach your kid how to make a more nutritious breakfast. Eggs are less than 2$ per dozen, and I pay around 5$ for 2.5 dozen. My nine year old can make scrambled eggs. On the stove. This is a new development. Before he was allowed to use the stove he microwaved them. Even subsidized housing tends to come with a microwave.

Connie Williamson says it’s not easy on a tight budget. She spends hours driving around each month looking for deals. She has to stretch $600 in food stamps for herself, her husband, Alex and two teenage girls.

“You can get leaner cuts of meat, but then they’re more expensive,” she says. “You can get fresh fruit every couple of days and blow half of your budget on fresh fruits and vegetables in a week’s time, easy.”

I buy tubes 72/28 ground beef. The fat cooks off anyway, and it’s cheaper than its 90/10 counterpart. When I make hamburgers with it, the fat helps it stay together so I am not adding even more filler, like egg. Same with meatloaf. I buy tougher cuts like london broil and use a crock pot to slow cook them all day long until they are all but falling apart. I buy whole tenderloins and cut my own filet mignon, usually at 4$ a pound no less!I stock up on chicken breast when it’s down to 1.25$ a pound. I’ve bought chicken and meat by the case before in order to save a buck or twenty. Just repackage it and freeze it.

I am lucky that I am able to get organic, local produce every week. I spend 75$ and get around 50 pounds of food. Not a bad price and always delicious. Half your food budget should be on fresh produce, IMO.

But when Alex was thirsty after a walk, his mother gave him a plastic water bottle filled with orange soda.

Elaine Livas, who runs Project SHARE, the local food pantry, says she sees it all time.

“A gallon of milk is $3-something. A bottle of orange soda is 89 cents,” she says. “Do the math.”

Livas says low-income families might know milk is better for their kids, but when it comes to filling a hungry stomach, a cheaper high-calorie option can look pretty good.

I think milk is actually less per ounce than most soda. I could be wrong. I know for sure water is less. Your kids don’t like water? Neither do it. Buy some lemons, squeeze em up! Make some lemon-water (not sugar laden lemonade, just flavour your H2O with a spritz or two) and serve it up!

I only buy 100% not from concentrate juices for my kids. And I water them down. And I stock the fuck up when they are buy one get one.

via Eating Nutritiously A Struggle When Money Is Scarce : NPR.

There is more. More about cooking, and buying high-calorie processed foods and some other stuff. And yes, people are going to be fat and not eat well if they buy high calorie processed foods. Which are cheap. But it is still cheaper to buy fresh (or flash frozen) fruits and veggies and make your own than buying premade crap in a box.

The bottom line here is, we need to teach people how to shop and how to cook, not throw money at them and expect them to know what to do with it. What’s the old adage, give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. Same idea. I took a 5$ london broil tonight (a tough piece of meat, and usually pretty cheap), two cans of potatoes, a bag of carrots and a box of beef broth and tossed it in a crock pot for six hours. It was delicious. It cost me, at most, 12$ and there was enough there for all eight of us, so call it $1.50 per serving. If we were a family of four there would be leftovers for lunch, dinner or to turn into stew. As it is there is broth left and I think I might make a stew with it as I have another london broil in the freezer.

Michael and I went down to Ft Laudy to see her. Dragged our old asses out at 11 and got home at like 1:30 LOL

I was going to go in this

but I felt I had too much back fat going on to rock it, which turned out to be a good thing or I would have been a melted of melted goo on the floor!

I did, however, rock these shoes

which was a mistake as my feet are fucking killing me! It was also a mistake as we cut out before her second show, which I think was OK too since I think her costume change took about 45 minutes.

My cam shot sucked, so I stopped trying.

Thankfully, Fish didn’t.

Why yes, yes she is twirling her awesome fall like a lasso!

And then she ripped that shit off and tossed it aside. A move I pulled many a time myself back in the day. As usual, I was ahead of my time.

I snagged this image from someone else – this is the costume/show we missed, she did “Loca” and I kind of wish we had stayed, but not enough to have broken feet today.

I also found out C&C Music Factory will be there in two weeks! I seriously miss going out, something I didn’t realize and I want to go. A lot. Probably won’t, but no big loss. Michael is talking about hitting up the Fetish Factory party in the future since we’ll fit in a little better (you know, as opposed to being in a sea of barely overage gay boys and sticking out as much as if I showed up naked LOL) and since it’s more “our” music. I recognized all of three of the songs played last night – over the course of almost two hours. Two were pre-96 and one was Lady Gaga :/

PS – did I say no broken feet? I slammed my little toe into something this afternoon and broke it. Why yes, yes it is swollen. Yes it does hurt. Yes I am glad it was my right foot so I can still drive my car. Did I mention it hurts?

I like to consider myself a strong individual. I am capable of living on my own (although I prefer not to). I am capable of looking after myself as well as taking care of others.

So why does the thought of losing my partner, my literal other half, scare me so much? I can’t imagine life without him. Last month I had nightmares that he was dead or dying and I had to manage without him. Realistic dreams of how would I handle the kids and where would our needed income come from and how would I even function without shutting down and not functioning. Michael told me I cuddled up to him that night and just held on.

I posted to FaceBook today that Michael told me he could not promise not to die as that would mean he would have to break a promise to me some day. Sweet in the telling but not so sweet in the facts.

This whole line of thought came about because his aunt on his mothers side was hospitalized yesterday for one thing and wound up having some heart complications on top of that. Michael mentioned to me that his grandfather died at 60(ish?) due to heart complications. He was a big man (6’7″?) and the weight to go with it and it was just too much on his heart in the end. It makes me look at Michael, a big man himself, and throws me into a whirlwind. We need to eat better. We need to exercise. I’m going to make him live forever, because for all of my knowledge that death comes for us all, I am still convinced I am going to live forever, and how can I do that without him? 60 for him is only 20 years from now.

I see my father, who lost his wife well before 60, and I wonder if one day I will be in the same position. Will my children come home to me? Will I have friends to surround myself with? Will I look down every day and see his art all over me and wish he was still here and wonder what I could have done to keep him here?

And then I shake my head and I remind myself that he is still here and 60 is a long way off and I will, in fact, make us live forever. And if I can’t, I can at least make it seem like it.

On the flip side, I can use my amazing commercial grade blender at home and make my own fruitilicious smoothie. I can also moan and groan about the time it takes to prep the food, the fact that the husband and I don’t really agree on what makes a good smoothie and the clean up after. Well, if I’m lucky clean up involves adding water to the pitcher and giving it a spin for thirty second and dumping it out and letting it dry.

I just made myself a coconut (Fish hates coconut), banana, mango (he hates mango), blueberry, probiotic (he’s neutral on this), supergreenfood (oh my god don’t let hum so much as see the SGF container!) smoothie. I think it’s delish. Dorian said it was good. Mal & Esh both made icky faces. Fish won’t look at it, let alone try it. His loss!

His smoothies involve vanilla frozen yogurt and other things I don’t consider breakfast smoothie goods. Probably my loss.

Our main tried and true smoothie recipes call for some mix of milk, blue/purple juice (blueberry juice, grape juice, pomegranate juice, etc..), Greek yogurt, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, mango, peaches and/or bananas. Maybe a squirt or two of honey or agave to sweeten it up if it’s a “dry” smoothie.

For a good while we were making our own every morning, and since the kids recently went on a smoothie kick my blender has been getting a workout again. I’m all about it.

Send me your awesome smoothie recipes!

I walked out with

• bike hooks, 4 packages of 2 on clearance at 2.24 a package. So now I must clean the garage so I can install said bike hooks and hang up said bikes. These were on my “want” list, and were marked well down.
• Jif peanut butter x 4, 18 oz for 2$ (0.11$ an ounce). There was a free Arnold bread with two, but it was only white bread which we don’t eat and it was out of stock anyway.
• YoYo Balls x2 @ 3.99 ea – Eshiva owed Dorian for one she broke and Mal wanted one
• One Disney Princss doll @ 3.99
• hooks for the bathroom, 3.49
• magnet strips for the kitchen (actually took strips, but repurposed for knives), 2.49 each. Already hung and organizing our knives and shears.
• dog treats, on sale for 1.99/box got two boxes.

Notice I did not get the hooks for the chore cards, but I did price them (3.69 for and will return for them later on. The kids paid for their own stuff (coming out of their allowance on Sunday and yes I did mark it down) but that still means I spent too much, good deal or not.

I also paid to move four domains today to a new host, and I am hoping the paycheck this week is enough to buy hosting at Sustainable so I am not renewing at my current host.

Last night I put all of our monthly bills and expenses for each pay period from now until January 6 down on paper. I proceeded to flip my shit and look into shutting things off. I then realized I don’t have much to shut off and looked into other things to do.

I’m calling AT&T today to see about dropping our plan down a level. If it won’t cause my contract to reset it will save me 20$ plus taxes a month. I looked into turning our DSL down, but it would only save 5$ and cut our speeds in half and isn’t worth it to me. I looked into turning off the house line, which would save me 13$ but would make my DSL go up 10$. Not worth it. We’re locked into DirecTV for another however long, which is no big in and of itself. We pay that and not rent, so…. we win. I’m running out of options here.

The last guitar payment is in September. The last fridge payment is in October. We owe camp 390$ by mid-August. Mrs. P’s starts in August and is a partial payment that month but is 185$ on the first starting in September. Then 520$ in recital fees by the end of October.

I need to start selling myself, or at least my wares, to make ends meet!

I’m thinking of selling my snack bags and other small, easy to sew items on Etsy.

All this and I’m still spending it like it’s water. I picked up some chore cards (Etsy, of course) for the kids. I decided it’s time for them to get weekly allowance (and not Bank of Mom allowance, but real cash allowance) and gosh darn it, they’re going to earn it! I got this set, and this set, and this set, and two of this set. I did not get the personal growth set or the blank set or the reward set. There are enough in the other sets that don’t apply to our home that I can flip them over and make my own. I’m also making my own board to hang them on. Why Jenn, why not make your own cards too? Easy. These already have cute clip art on them, are laminated, ready to go, and every other time I’ve tried to make my own they go ignored. Don’t worry. The kids paid for these themselves and will have to replace the money out of their own pockets too.

I’ll let you all know how it goes once they arrive and get implemented.

My husband turned 40 yesterday and I have all intentions of making him live forever.

That said, I don’t skimp on ingredients. If it calls for butter, I use butter. Heavy whipping cream is also a staple in my fridge. Sugar, bacon, mayo, you name it. I haven’t tackled lard yet, but I hear it’s actually healthier to cook with than, say, Crisco, which is very processed and doesn’t really digest well. My eggs in the morning? They include the yolk and lots of unsalted butter and fried whole wheat bread.Why no, no we aren’t all five hundred pounds. In fact, most of the people in the house are exactly the weight they should be, and those who aren’t, well… we’re [getting] old and putting on that middle-age pudge. I’m working on it.

I made the best potato salad ever yesterday. It’s a no-mayo variety, although it uses Dijon mustard and Feta, so it’s not exactly good either. (recipe) I also made Nigella Lawson’s Fairy Cakes. Each dozen cupcakes has a stick of butter and 7 Tablespoons of sugar, but they are oh so very good and as a five times a year treat (February, July, August, September & November), oh so very worth it.I’ve also started using a cream cheese icing instead of royal icing. I think the hint of lime in the icing really sets off the cupcakes.

So, food! I splurge on organics. I splurge on natural ingredients (you know, the kind I can pronounce and identify!). I splurge and splurge and splurge till I can’t splurge anymore, because I have reached the end of the food budget.

Where has this gotten me? I have a family who eats better at home than in a restaurant. I have children who appreciate the value of good, healthy food over fast food. That’s not to say they don’t like greasy fast food, but they understand why it’s a sometimes food and not an all the time food. I have a gastronomically adventurous family. Even Malachai, who is averse to many foods will usually at least try it once.

That’s not to say my weekly menu is always diverse. We have homemade mac & cheese at least once a week. Vegetarian chili usually graces my menu once every week or two. Pot pie is a staple. Sausage & peppers. A couple of weeks ago we had jambalaya a couple of times. Cube steak in gravy was a hit. I have the same 20 or 30 dishes that are tried & true, but I try and fit a new one in once a week, or a new twist on an old favourite. I use as many different colours as possible in my cooking. Every shade brings new nutrients to the table, and it keeps you wanting to come back! Who wants a plate of dull white and brown (like meat & potatoes) all the time?

So cook well, cook often and cook diversely. Your family, your stomach and your waistline will thank you.

• 5 pounds red new potatoes, cut into 1/2″ – 3/4″ cubes
• 1/2 Cup Dijon mustard
• 1/2 Cup vinegar – almost any kind, white wine vinegar, red wine, balsamic, they all bring their own taste to the party. I’d advise against white distilled.
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
• 1 Cup Olive Oil
• 1/2 Cup thinly sliced scallions
• 12 oz. Feta cheese
• 8 jalapenos, seeded & chopped

Place potatoes in a pot and cover with cold water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 10 minutes or until fork tender. Drain.

In a large bowl whisk together mustard, vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper. Slowly whisk in oil.

Add potatoes while warm, scallions, feta and jalapenos.

This is fabulous serve a little warm. It sits out well as there is no mayo to spoil.

I could spend a couple of hours leisurely wandering the aisles at a well laid out food store checking prices and getting the most for my money. I get kind of panicky when I am in a rush and always wind up forgetting this or that or spending way too much.

This week we tried the new Winn-Dixie, which is just outside of my town (quite literally, on the other side of the road that is the division) and we heard great things about. We signed up for the tracking card that “gives you great deals!” and got going.

This weeks list include things like romaine, iceberg, jalapenos, Parmesan cheese (something I never skimp on), feta, re potatoes, red onions, parsley, cilantro, dill, carrots, cream cheese, cheese singles, gumbo veggies, crackers, flank steak, chicken breast, ribs, shrimp and a handful of other things.

I did not coupon shop this week because a) most of what I needed were not typical coupon items and b) I wanted to see how much of a deal Winn-Dixie was on it’s own. I did go armed with the Penn Dutch ad so I could comparison shop against known prices of things I needed this week. I wound up spending just shy of 110$ there and making a trip around the corner (one street down and across the street) to Penn Dutch (where I spent just under 70$). I also spent 75$ a week on mostly local organic produce from Annie’s (which is less than I would spend on the same amount of food at say, Whole Foods). On any given week I spend between 200 – 250$ on food, not bad for a family of 8 eating mostly local/organic food.

Winn-Dixie didn’t really impress me. They had a great produce section, but a smallish organic section. The rest of their naturals & organics were kind of squished in where ever they found room throughout the rest of the store and not where I’d expect them to be (cereal with cereal, pasta with pasta, etc..). Their prices were comparable to Publix/Doris’/Penn Dutch/Broward Meat & Fish. I think I’ll stick with Publix for my weekly shopping, it’s closer.

Point of this blog? Most of my money is saved by making a menu, having that menu revolve around either what I already have or what is on sale (I got pork spare ribs for 1.59$/lb so I grabbed three racks for about 21$, enough for two dinners if everyone eats a normal portion) and sticking to it.

This weeks menu includes jambalaya, pot pie, brisket (I got London broil instead, but for what it’s for I can sub it out), flank steak, vegetarian gumbo, vegetarian chili, a party (BBQ) and leftovers. I’ll also get lunches out of five of those.