This decade has brought so much pain, so much grief, and so much love. A quick decade in review…

I finished college in 1999. I moved back to MD in December, moved in with Michael two weeks later, spent New years with him and his friends, conceived Dorian that night (oops, yay!) and we had our HandFasting in March 2000.

In 2000 I also had my first BIG job (full time in my field) and also left it to move back to Fla. I kicked Michael out and he moved back to DC later that year. Dor was born in September.

On 9/11/01 I was in bed and my good friend Mandy called me up and told me to turn on the news, so I did and I was on the phone with her when the planes hit. I hung up with her and immediately tried to call Michael (who at the time was working across the street from the Pentagon) and Matt (who was/is NYFD) and finally got through hours later. In Oct 2001 Dor and I moved back to MD.

In Feb 2002 we moved back to Fla. Malachai was born in August. My mom was diagnosed with cancer this year and on her 49 birthday had major surgery to remove it. We took the twins and the boys to Orlando that week so they wouldn’t worry about her and so dad could be with her. She started chemo following and was in remission for a few years.

In 2003 Erin died. Michael and the boys were in bed. I was downstairs with the rest of the fam, and then matt phoned me and we chatted for a bit. I remember telling him it would be today, and mom yelled up that stairs and told me to come down NOW so I hung up on him and ran down. That was that. We took the auto train up for the funeral and I think we drove back down.

We had an apartment in 2004 (I think) and moved out when the leave was up because I was pregnant and we didn’t have room for another person in that apartment. We moved back in with my family to help out (mom was sick by now) and wound up staying until after Eshiva was born in Feb 2005.

In Feb 2005 Michael, my dad and myself all quit smoking. I got an IUD My mom never did stop smoking and the cancer came back this year.

2006: We were living in West Va, and I drove down with my MIL and the kids two weeks before she died. That was in Sept 2006. You guys got me through that. Michael flew down and then we drove to MD for the funeral, went to WVa and packed our shit and moved back to Florida to take care of everyone. We’ve been here since.

I think we’ve been in a holding pattern since then. I have been learning to tattoo forever now, took up knitting somewhere in there, and a crapton of other hobbies.

In 2010 the twins graduate high school, and I think the dynamic of the house is going to change, esp. if/when Sara gets into Rollins and Michael gets into FSU. I’m kind of bracing for that lol

I have to say, I am pretty excited to see what the next ten or fifteen years brings. Dorian will be 18 in 2018, Mal will be 18 in 2020 and Eshiva will be 18 in 2023. I expect the US to pull out of this recession (is it a depression yet?) by then, and I can’t wait to see what new technology my kids help invent I can’t believe it’s been ten years, the time has flown, except when it hasn’t, which wasn’t too often. I think we’ll have this thread going on again before we know it.

I was just lamenting in a friends blog that Baltimore calls to me like a siren in the night… and has done so for thirteen long years now, but I know, at the end of the day, I am home where I am. I told him that I hope he finds himself where home is soon too. Purpose of sharing here? My life may not be where I expected it to be at all, and home might have turned out to be far far away, but it certainly has been a grand adventure so far – I expect it to remain so. Bonne Vivant!