Denis Leary on Autism.

It might be time to add a new category to our lineup. Denis Leary knows the power of the autism community. That’s why he’s using us to sell books. Can we have a giant, “Whatever.” for Mr. Leary?

“There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can’t compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don’t give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you – yer kid is NOT autistic. He’s just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.”

New York Post Gossip section.

PS My apologies if you’re offended by the graphic. It seemed fitting.

AGE OF AUTISM: Denis Leary on Autism.

So yah. You’re an asshole. I just have one thing to say really. My autistic child tested at just shy of *genius* on his IQ testing (part of the testing that was done during his diagnosis). G-E-N-I-U-S. And my kids not lazy either. Me? I’m lazy. I spend more time and energy figuring out how not to do things than just doing them in the first place. I’ll own my laziness. Most autistic kids? Not so lazy. Not so stupid.

I’m not buying his book. I’m not telling you to buy his book. I’m not even looking the damn thing up. I’m also not buying Jenny McCarthy’s books either, so there you go.

Back? Hello there! I agree with much of what was said, but perhaps not for the reasons… Mostly they revolve around my own preferences and how I don’t feel they are societally driven.

I shave my legs maybe 4 times a year, but I shave my vulva every 6 or 8 weeks vs. my armpits… whenever I wear a sleeveless top and the hair is too long for my taste, and I have my brows waxed every three weeks.

The hair on my legs doesn’t grow that fast, and when it is there, it’s pretty silky and virtually invisible unless you are up close and personal. I’ve been shaving/trimming my vulva since the hair started growing. I just don’t like it. I find I am much more sexually sensitive without a ton of hair, thought to be honest, at the longest I’ve let it go I didn’t have the “natural bush” that bush loving men want to see. I shaved my arms for years. I just don’t like body hair. Is it a societally charged disdain? I have no idea. I don’t think it is… in my life I’ve seen both ends of the pendulum – natural, hairy, but beautiful women and fully shorn, equally beautiful women.

Why do I have my eyebrows waxed? Don’t laugh. I had natural brows till 97ish and my friend attacked them with some tweezers. Thus became a low affair with the stylized brows of the 40′s and 50′s. Totally socially driven. As the years have gone by, they’ve gotten less arched, less drawn on. They follow the natural arch, I mostly clean up the straggly ones on the outside. Many of the current “hot” actresses, actors too!, are going au natural on the brows.

I feel like too much of a hypocrite saying I am natural. My usual saying is “mostly natural, slightly modified.” I dye my hair. I have tattoos. I have piercings (indeed, I have big chunks of cartilage outright removed). I shave, pluck and wax. I straighten (not so much anymore). I do a lot that isn’t strictly natural.

My plug kept falling out, so I thought, hm, maybe the 2 will drop right in? Yah, prolly needed like a 3. So then I remember I saw some tapers in one of our jewelry boxes and thought one looked about a 2. So I checked. BINGO!

So I try to shove it in. Shove is a strong word. I gently pushed to see if it would drop in on it’s own, as the plug did not. No go.

I go in the bathroom, ask for some lube that isn’t the provon soap and DH hands me… lube. Astroglide to the rescue! So I lube up my ear. I line up the taper. In she goes! There she stops.

But it’s sooo close!

So I push. and push and push and push.

It never burned. It didn’t feel like a rip. It never bled. But it hurt. It was *right there*

I let go of the taper for a minute to get myself ready to just shove it in. Get a bigger hammer, right?

It falls out. Too much lube maybe?

I have a genius idea of trying to slide the eyelet in because, well, my ear fucking hurts by now. It slides right in. Yay!

Have I mentioned my ear hurts?

I have a non-swollen-but-slightly-painful-to-the-touch-can’t-sleep-on-it right ear. But it matches my left ear

Yes, it’s my own damn fault. I did not damage the ear, it’s not torn or ripped or bleeding. I didn’t damage that cartilage b/c it was already gone. It just didn’t want to be stretched that last 1/32 of an inch. Stupid ear. That’ll show it who’s boss.

Level One
( ) Had an asthma attack
(X)Smoked A Cigarette
(X) Smoked A Cigar
(X) Been drunk
(X) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Been In Love or still in love
(X) Been Dumped
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight / Catfight
(X) Snuck Out Of A Parent’s House

Total so far: 8

Level Two
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn’t Have Them Back
(X) Been Arrested or Seen Someone You Know Get Arrested
(X) Made Out With A Stranger
(X) Gone Out On A Blind Date
(X) Had A Crush On someone older than you
(X) Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker/ team mate
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die

Total so far: 15

Level Three
(X) Been On A Plane
(X) Thrown Up From Drinking
(X) Eaten Sushi
(X) Been Snowboarding/Skiing
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love(d) or Lust Someone Who You Can’t Have
(X) Been in a bad relationship

Total so far: 23

Level Four
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
(X) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Puddle Jumping
(X) Played Dress Up
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game

Total so far: 33

Level Five
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
(X) Used A Fake / Someone Else’s ID
(X) Watched The sun set/ sun rise
( ) Felt An Earthquake
(X) Kissed A Snake (WTF?)
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Robbed Someone
(X) Been Misunderstood…

Total so far: 41

Level Six
( ) Pet A Deer
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car/ Motorcycle/Truck Accident
(X) Had / Have Braces
() Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Had deja vu
(X) Danced in the moonlight
(X) Hated The Way You Look

Total so far: 49
Level Seven
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(X ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
(X) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep

Total: 56

Level Eight
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn’t
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
() Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X)Kissed In The Rain
() Written A Letter To Santa Claus
() Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe

Total: 62
Level Nine
(X) Watched The Sun Set With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire
(X) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge

Total: 68

Level Ten
( ) Swam With Dolphins
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex’s Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(X) stayed Up All Night

Total: 74

Level Eleven
(X) picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Have been/Are scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
(X) Thought you’ve seen/heard a Ghost
(X) Have/had More Than 30 Pairs Of Shoes or Flip Flops
() Gone streaking
(X) Been to/Visited Someone At Jail
(X) Been Pushed Into A Pool With All Your Clothes On

Total: 82

Level Twelve
(X) Been Told You’re Hot By A Complete Stranger
(X) Broken a bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
(X) Caught A Fish
() Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had someone Moon / Flash You

Total: 90

Level Thirteen
(X) cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone’s Name
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(X) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity

Total: 95

Level Fourteen
(X) Been Used
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone
( ) Flattened someone’s tires
(X) Drove/rode in a car until the gas light came on
(X) Had five dollars or less and bought something

Total: 100

Almost reason enough for me to go ahead and get my facial tattooing, but I don’t wear make up as it is. I’d hate to have to put on “pancake” makeup daily (I know it’s not that thick, but anything more than a light lotion is too much for me) or however often I’d have to cover up. Probably daily just to keep peace in the house.

Hell, I can’t even get my bird finished. Going on four years now. Long time to be walking around with such a prominent unfinished bit.

We went to the SoFl Tattoo Expo… it just serves to remind me of how very un-covered I am. My ears aren’t that impressive. I am not saying I have it to be impressive, but… It is nice to think one is somewhat unique or impressive. I am neither.

When I tell the stories of how I had my ears done, then it’s impressive, but I don’t tell them that often. I started stretching my lobes at 14. I made a conscious decision about it. I wasn’t trying to out-big my friends. No one else I knew at the time was stretching. I’ve had 8 dermal punches done in my cartilage. I’ve had my tragus’ pierced twice (before the dermal punch). I had earrings up my ridges (done myself, and long since removed). Aye, impressive, with the stories. Not so much just by sight. I didn’t go for sheer quantity, I went for size.

My tattoos aren’t special… not in that sheer coverage way I envy others.

Perhaps I am just hitting an age where I am beginning to regret the things I have not done, and more likely than not will not do now.

I ordered some knitting books from KnitPicks.com. Their books are 40% off, so it was totally justifiable, seeing as I ordered two books I’ve been eyeballing for quite some time and couldn’t justify. I almost got both for the price of one. I use the KnitPicks interchangeable needle set. One of my friends got it for me last year, and I have used the fuck out of it. Well, I had recently ordered some extra connector cables, and it pulled out of it’s seating. I contacted KnitPicks and without a question they sent me another pair of connectors. I had offered to send the broken set back, and they said to just dispose of them. I was most impressed with their customer service and prompt delivery. I’ve ordered from them quite a bit in the past and never had a problem and so had never dealt with customer service. I was very pleased to find out their quality extended from their products to their care.

I also ordered some stuff for Shiva that she needed. Not knitting stuff, some stuff from BabyBecause.com. I needed a new diaper bag, and I picked up some training pants. I need to get a covered trashbin as well, but I can get it for less from Target (to use as a diaper pail). I did not buy more disposable diapers today, we’re switching back to 100% cloth. I am hoping it encourages her to get out of them quicker.

Gave Sasha her bath today. Sara was brushing her and stopped and put the brush down. Sasha took her paw and put iton top of the brush, sort of pushing it towards Sara. Smart lil doggie we got. I just wish she would heal quicker!

Now onto my social commentary…

“Idol” Contestant in Labor Nails Audition

I don’t really have anything to say about this. I hate that people assume that pregnant women in the early stages of labor have to be at the hospital now. They probably don’t. The baby was born the next day, so either she had a long delivery or she was really in the very early stages. Why is this even news? Women go into labor in weird places all the time and ignore it and continue on with what they were doing.

Man Sues 1-800 Flowers

This one is pissing me off because he was already getting divorced. He should be suing over the additional money they are costing him, not the divorce itself. Of course, also, why the hell is this news, and maybe they are reporting it wrong anyway.

Something you shout: Jesus!

This morning we had a nice brunch with my grandmother, aunt, dad and siblings. Then we came home, cleaned up the living room and a bit of the front room (which I need to finish). I talked with Sara, she’s having some troubles right now (I wish I could help them more, but shy of being mom… I just can’t).

Then Michael and I went out, bank, office store (we needed a new chair) Arby’s for late lunch/early dinner, and off to the shop!

Michael picked out jewelry. I had some for the conches, not the helix. Then he did his prep thing. I kept my cool. Kind of I didn’t have that massive anxiety/anticipation I usually do. I think it’s because I had an audience this time. He cleaned me up, marked off where he was gonna punch, and I double checked it. Then we tried to decide what order to go in. J suggested R conch L conch L helix R helix. I said no, I want to do all of one ear, that way I have to do the other.

Let me interject, this is not the first time I have done multiple (read: four) major piercings/punches in a single session, it’s just been about eight years.

I decided to do the left ear, then the right.

We punched the first conch, tapered it up to an 8G and got the jewelry in just fine. I was gripping the arm rests on the chair, but it didn’t go poorly at all, and it wasn’t awful. That crunching noise is the worst. H said it sounded like a hole punch! I never thought about it, but in retrospect, absolutely. I had some of my Dr. P and sat back for the next one.

Then we did the helix, which is the equivalent of a 4G, but my helix always opens up and it easily accommodates a 2G. This one was a problem. It didn’t want to go through. The punch went through the skin just fine and felt like it stopped at the cartilage. Michael really had to push it on through, it was not an enjoyable experience and it hurt like hell. It also bled, which I was expecting (my last helix punch bled like stuck pig too).

Then we moved over to the other side. I hesitated a bit, I needed a moment to collect myself. H said during the helix the color just drained out of my lips. I believe her. I drank some more Dr. P and settled back into the chair.

We did the next conch, no problems. The jewelry slid right in, it was a nice change from that helix!

I opted not to try and re-punch the helix in my right ear. I don’t know if it was a defective punch, or if it was just too old, or if I have some weird ass calcium deposit growing over my cartilage (that’s a joke people), but I did not want to repeat that experience. I had originally wanted to just punch it back open, it would have just been skin because we had already punched it eight or so years ago, but I didn’t trust the punch. Right now I can easily squeeze a 6G into it, I’d like to taper it up to a 4G, but I think I’ll wait a bit while my ears heal. Eventually it will go up to a 2G to match.

Then we went to the book store to pick up some goodies, and later on tonight I get to shower with my baby while he cleans my ears. Ah, gotta love tradition!

Right ear – 3/4″ lobe, 12G upper lobe, 10G tragus, 8G conch, 8G upper conch, 6ishG helix

Left ear – 3/4″ lobe, 12G upper lobe, 10G tragus, 8G conch, 8G upper conch, 2G helix

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• use as a purse! (ok, not an evening bag, but it’ll work for keys and general “stuff”)
• use it to keep a change of clothes in the car for your kids
• it makes a great library bag too!
• got another suggestion? Let us know!

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