my psycho fun family

so my mom was playing with dor on his tricycle. then she gets on it and starts riding it, egging him on b/c he is screaming bah! bah! (bike for the toddler impaired). so then she says so get on the back (still riding this 10″ trike around in circles lol) so my dad puts dor on the back and wraps his arms around my mom and they are off! the two of them riding on this trike. too fucking funny!

so i had to share.

tentacle…. erm, tentative (damn fish and his tentacle obsession lol) plans

for those who even care… here is what i’d like to do from now through, say, new years lol

it’s the end of June, so nothing. we are broke. broke broke broke.
BUT, in July…. well, we are having a cookout for the 4th, for fish (he’ll be 32, which is almost as old as dirt from what i am told) and my cousins birthdays (my cousin will be 14 i think), as well as the holiday. whoohoo florida, fireworks are legal. and it’s been raining. so they wont be banned this year due to chance of fire. so yay :-) and that is about it for July, unless we make it to jacksonville to visit mandy and her brood. but that is prolly only going to happen if they find a house. so…….. that is a BIG maybe.

and in august, well, we are going to marco island to see paul and jill *yay* during their honeymoon. i will be, i don’t know, the size of a house, but oh well :-) it will be a fun trip. and baby X is gonna make his or her grande appearance to the world sometime in late august (ok, we hope in late august lol), so looking forward to that!

and in September we are going to disney. yep, baby X should be maybe 3 weeks old then. well, dor went when he was 5 or 6 weeks…. and hopefully while we are there, we can scout for housing and the local shops and what not. or we can drive back up for the day later in the month to do that. i am all about moving to orlando. yes i am, sam i am :-)

September 14 is dorians birthday! can you believe he will be 2? i know i can’t. it have been a *long* two years, lots of ups and downs, but all well worth it. i am sure we will have a party of some sort, but i will still be pretty newly post-partum (ugh, i almost wrote mortum (sp)) so it might not be a *huge* one. i think he will understand.

late September/early October we would like to travel to md/dc/va for a) fish to do another spot at grafixx, and b) for me to go a visiting (ok, i spelled this wrong, and it tried to tell me i meant “fisting”). oooo toddler and newborn, that should be fun. < -- dripping with sarcasm, if you don't know me very well. but for all four of us to come up will depend on how i feel, money, and finding someplace to take in the four of us, or a cheap hotel lol but i'd also like to drive, so who knows how big of a deal it would turn into.

october.. well, nothing really planned, just keep socking money away for the move and being to more-seriously look into housing and employment and all.

november is my birthday :-) i’ll be 23. yes, for those of you who suck at math, my dear hubby is just a hair shy of 10 years my senior. it just means i get the insuranc emoney first *ducks* i love you baby!! oi, i remember 18. fuck that, i remember 16. you know what? i think i like 23 better. shh, don’t tell anyone i admitted to that! if it were up to my dad, we’d be in disney (inside joke, sorry to those of you not in the loop!) but i don’t think we are going that route this year. *snaps fingers* damn.

december is my sisters 21 birthday. now, i suppose if erin were any normal almost 21 year old, i’d take her out and get her drunk. but she’s not, so just a family party. maybe i’ll spike her tube with some vodka *wicked evil grin*

aw! the kitty is laying on her back propped on some pillows. too cute, wish michael didn’t have the camera t work.

oh, back to plans… and then hopefully after jan we MOVE. well, hopeuflly we have had enough cash by now to move.

but them’s the tentacle plans *grins* now let’s see if they actually work!

stupid doctors strike again

http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/living/health/3439755.htm

Doctors warn of risks from vaginal births
BY TARA PARKER-POPE
Wall Street Journal

After an angry backlash against Caesarean sections, most everyone for the past decade has taken it as a given: Vaginal childbirth is the best and safest way to have a baby.

But a number of high-profile doctors, concerned by an alarming incidence of serious birth injuries to women who’ve had vaginal deliveries, are beginning to challenge that conventional wisdom. They argue that more maternity patients should at least consider having elective C-sections. At the very least, they say obstetricians need to give their patients more information about the risks of vaginal delivery just as they would a C-section or any other medical procedure.

Surveys show that one-third of all women have suffered some type of birth injury, both temporary and permanent ? most commonly urinary or fecal incontinence, pelvic pain, sagging pelvic organs and sexual dysfunction. One in every nine women will require surgery as a result. A new medical subspecialty called urogynecology has evolved to repair the extensive damage childbirth can cause to a woman’s body. Yet few obstetricians warn patients of the possibilities of serious side effects.

“It’s like the silent epidemic of motherhood,” says Linda Brubaker, professor of obstetrics, gynecology and urology at Loyola University in Chicago. “We’re doing very well on infant health, but now we need to turn our attention to the mother’s health.”

Jeannette O’Neill, a 33-year-old mother of three, has undergone 19 procedures to correct the damage wrought by giving birth to three children. Vaginal delivery hurt the nerves that controlled her bladder, leaving her incontinent and without feeling in her bowel. The nerve damage also affected her leg, causing one foot to droop. An implant, similar to a pacemaker, now controls her bladder function.

“I was wearing diapers for 2? years,” says the Pembroke Pines, Fla., nurse. “It’s ironic that I don’t have a C-section scar, because I have scars down my spine and right side of my bottom and seven scars in front, all from trying to repair childbirth injuries.”

Debra Sandefur, a 45-year-old Naperville, Ill., mother of a 3-year-old son, had a partial hysterectomy and a “bladder sling” to repair birth injuries. In three weeks, she’ll undergo surgery for prolapse, which causes a woman’s pelvic organs to slip outside her body.

“It’s hard to lift my son because the body parts come out ? it’s like half of a ping pong ball coming out,” says Sandefer, who deals with the problem by pushing the organs back in place.

C-SECTION REDUCTION

One reason for the high incidence of birth injuries is the decade-long public health effort to reduce the nation’s C-section rate, which peaked at about 25 percent in the late 1980s, dropped to about 20 percent in the 1990s and is now at about 23 percent. Insurance companies, in particular, pressed for more vaginal deliveries, which cost far less. Today, the quality of obstetrical care given by doctors and hospitals often is measured by a low C-section rate.

Nobody believes every woman, or even most women, should have C-sections. Caesareans carry all the risks of major surgery, including infection, bleeding and blood clots. In addition, the abdominal incision can take weeks to heal and make it painful for mothers to carry their babies.

But an increasing number of physicians say their colleagues should be open to a “patient choice” C-section and provide women with enough information to make an informed decision.

Currently, “nobody is told the pros and cons of anything,” says G. Willy Davila, chairman of gynecology at Cleveland Clinic Florida. “Informing the patient is such a powerful tool.”

Still, it’s clear that even when advised of the risks, many women would opt for a vaginal birth.

Amanda Sherland, a 37-year-old mother of two in Deerfield Beach, Fla., had surgery in February to correct stress incontinence, which caused her to leak urine when she ran, coughed or sneezed. Al
though she wishes she’d been warned about the potential problems, she says she still would have chosen to deliver vaginally.

DETERMINING RISK

Gauging risk for birth injury is easier in a second pregnancy.

“If there’s a problem with the fetus getting through the first time, you probably have an increased risk of damage the second time through,” says Joseph Schaffer, director of urogynecology and reconstructive pelvic surgery at University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas. “That’s a group of women that I think are at very high risk and should be considered for a Caesarean section.”

Other risk factors include having urinary incontinence during pregnancy or right after a previous birth; suffering a bad tear or laceration during a prior delivery and having existing prolapse of internal organs.

Having family members who have suffered prolapse or birth injury may also signal increased risk. A previous prolonged labor that involved a lot of pushing, the use of forceps and episiotomy also increases risk.

It’s known that women who’ve already had a C-section are at higher risk for bleeding during a vaginal birth. Even so, for years, they also have been pressed to have a vaginal birth after C-section, or VBAC, the second time around. But more recently, VBAC deliveries have begun to drop.

It’s also important that women become aware that incontinence and prolapse aren’t a normal part of aging, and that some, if not all, of the damage can be repaired.

“It’s kind of a private suffering,” says Sandefur. “Because the baby is healthy, nobody really cares about what happened to your body during delivery and how hard it is to fix things.”

i love all of you

these past few days, i have tallied all those i love, and was shocked at how many people fell into that list.

as a recovering skin (and if you know skins, no skin EVER hangs up his/her boots and braces for good!) i have been the cause of some damage. no, i don’t regret it. would i do it again? i am a mom, i need to set a good example. maybe if my son weren’t there *grins* but really people, we need to not cause such mass destruction! a beating now and then… ah, i can understand that. i don’t condone it! don’t get me wrong, but i have been in enough scraps to understand it, but this mass destruction. do you know the death count for the WTC and surrounding buildings is estimated at over 60,000? they have found less than 200 whole, identifiable bodies. the ME is calling for toothbrushes and hair samples to do DNA testing, there isn’t enough of these victims left to identify. there doesn’t seem to be enough left to fit into a few body bags.

i could go on and on, but let me leave off with this, please, pray to your god, lord, saviour, gods, goddesses, whoever, to protect us in this time of need, to let our retaliation be swift, mighty and all consuming, and that we may once again feel safe walking the streets.

post

We’ll go forward from this moment
by Leonard Pitts Jr.
The Miami Herald

It’s my job to have something to say.

They pay me to provide words that help make sense of that which
troubles the American soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot
tears sting disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say, the only
words that seem to fit, must be addressed to the unknown author of this
suffering.

You monster. You beast. You unspeakable bastard.

What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward’s attack on our
World Trade Center, our Pentagon, us? What was it you hoped we would learn?

Whatever it was, please know that you failed.

Did you want us to respect your cause? You just damned your cause.

Did you want to make us fear? You just steeled our resolve.

Did you want to tear us apart? You just brought us together.

Let me tell you about my people. We are a vast and quarrelsome
family, a family rent by racial, social, political and class division, but
a family nonetheless. We’re frivolous, yes, capable of expending tremendous
emotional energy on pop cultural minutiae — a singer’s revealing dress, a
ball team’s misfortune, a cartoon mouse. We’re wealthy, too, spoiled by the
ready availability of trinkets and material goods, and maybe because of
that, we walk through life with a certain sense of blithe entitlement. We
are fundamentally decent, though — peace-loving and compassionate. We
struggle to know the right thing and to do it. And we are, the overwhelming
majority of us, people of faith, believers in a just and loving God.

Some people — you, perhaps — think that any or all of this makes us
weak. You’re mistaken. We are not weak. Indeed, we are strong in ways that
cannot be measured by arsenals.

IN PAIN
Yes, we’re in pain now. We are in mourning and we are in shock. We’re
still grappling with the unreality of the awful thing you did, still
working to make ourselves understand that this isn’t a special effect from
some Hollywood blockbuster, isn’t the plot development from a Tom Clancy
novel.

Both in terms of the awful scope of their ambition and the probable
final death toll, your attacks are likely to go down as the worst acts of
terrorism in the history of the United States and, probably, the history of
the world.
You’ve bloodied us as we have never been bloodied before.

But there’s a gulf of difference between making us bloody and making
us fall. This is the lesson Japan was taught to its bitter sorrow the last
time anyone hit us this hard, the last time anyone brought us such abrupt
and monumental pain. When roused, we are righteous in our outrage, terrible
in our force. When provoked by this level of barbarism, we will bear any
suffering, pay any cost, go to any length, in the pursuit of justice.

I tell you this without fear of contradiction. I know my people, as
you, I think, do not. What I know reassures me. It also causes me to
tremble with dread of the future.

In the days to come, there will be recrimination and accusation,
fingers pointing to determine whose failure allowed this to happen and what
can be done to prevent it from happening again. There will be heightened
security, misguided talk of revoking basic freedoms. We’ll go forward from
this moment sobered, chastened, sad. But determined, too. Unimaginably
determined.

THE STEEL IN US

You see, the steel in us is not always readily apparent. That aspect
of our character is seldom understood by people who don’t know us well. On
this day, the family’s bickering is put on hold. As Americans we will
weep, as Americans we will mourn, and as Americans, we will rise in defense
of all that we cherish.

So I ask again: What was it you hoped to teach us? It occurs to me
that maybe you just wanted us to know the depths of your hatred. If that’s
the case, consider the message received. And take this message in exchange:

You don’t know my people. You don’t know what we’re capable of. You
don’t know what you just started.
But you’re about to le
arn.