she did not have her surgery today. she did call me and makem e pick her up, and put me in a pissy mood. they’re contageous you know. then she had the audacity to yell at me. so i told her something to the effect of “you can take your ass upstairs to your room and be in a bad mood, don’t do it in the family room.” she shut up.

sara pitched a fit over having to clean her own room. because everyone else’s stuff is in there. so i went in, got some books of mine out, asked what else was there (the books, by the way, were on a book shelf, were mine when i was a child, and when they took the bookshelf out, did not bother to tell me, were strewn about the floor and damaged.) and she said “i don’t know. there’s some baby clothes under here, and other stuff…” i told her to put her clothes away (that i put in there when i cleaned yesterday) and she proceeded to whine that they don’t fit. uh uh sweetheart. i went through those clothes, got rid of everything small and they all fit. so she whines some more. i told her when she had something tangible that was mine for me to remove, i would. oh, her bed, is partially in the living, dining and family rooms. that is what sparked this.

we (michael) applied for a loan yesterday, the application for an application went through, so it will be mailed to us to finish the application process. hopefully it will be approved. it will pay off all our credit debt, the payment will be half of what we pay per month, and whats left we can either put away, put towards the loan, or put towards the van. let’s just hope we get the loan! it’s through navy federal, so there is a good chance we will, his account has been in good standing (if not small) for 14 years.

we need to move. i am getting butterflies. michael keeps bringing up that we wont have any source of income upon moving, which worries me. we have credit debt (or loan debt, if that goes through) and the van, insurance, utilities, food, and probably housing once we find a place. i have a dream of opening a gallery/shop. i really, trully think it will work. i am passionate about something again. i enjoy crafting. i keep telling myself i enjoy knitting (i do, it just *hurts* and i over do it, and then i can’t for a while… viscious cycle) but i lost my passion. this is it. i want to throw myself heart and soul into a shop of our own. i want him to enjoy going to work, because it’s his. i want to showcase local art, or bring new artists in. i want it to take off and be someplace important.

went out this morning and bought a new filter for the fridge, while we were there i checked out clothes. nothing for me, but mega sale on kids stuff, so eshiva got some shirts, and so did chai. dorian is out of toddlers, and his size was not clearanced. went to party city and got invitations. went to albertsons to order a cupcake cake. spiderman, of course. went to holiday springs and put a deposit down on a party for 30 kids. fun stuff.

got a check for some work i’ve been doing. that feels good. it’s not a huge check, but i earned it. i got business cards out there, so hopefully more work will come my way.

been drinking oodles of green iced tea. maybe it will keep me full, kick start my metabolism, and i’ll drop some weight. i’ve gained about 5 pounds in the past few weeks. it’s not alot, but i feel like it shows. i’ve not outgrown anything, but it fits differently. i need to excersize. thank gods i like to eat, if not, i might be a skeleton.