but before you get upset for me, they were very happy tears. Up until not too long ago I had a sister named Erin. Erin had cerebral palsy. She had it from shortly after her birth (real shortly, she wasn’t breathing, which is what caused massive brain damage). Erin didn’t walk. She didn’t talk. She didn’t eat by mouth. She didn’t do much other than sit there and love pretty much everyone she came into contact with. Not a bad gig if you ask me, barring the obvious physical restrictions.
Anyway, when I was a little girl, and I passed by “wishing wells” (read: anything which caused me to beg for pocket change from my parents to throw away and make a wish) I’d throw in my pennies (nickels, dimes) and wish the same wish every time. I always wished Erin could walk and talk and be the kind of sister I could play with instead of play next to. Don’t get me wrong. We shared books, music, the television. She loved just hanging out, but it was a little one sided when it came down to it. My grandmother used to tell me how I would sit there and rub her legs and tell people we had to make them strong so she could walk.
Purpose of this overly emotional road trip?
I had the best dream last night. For some reason I can’t explain Erin was living in a residential home, which turned out to not be a bad thing. See, we showed up one day to visit, and out she comes with Jim (her boyfriend at school), walking. Not the easy gait of someone whose been walking since they were a year old. The uneasy, kind of stilted gait of someone who has recently learned how. Oh, I got the biggest hug and just started crying.
I have long said that since Erin died she is in a better place doing all the things she couldn’t do while she was here. I’m not big on god or heaven or hell. I’d like to think that when we die we move on to whatever is next. Death is just one stop in our journey. I’m not so sure about reincarnation as the only thing, but I think it might be an option. I believe the Universe as a whole wants us happy and healthy.
I haven’t had an Erin dream in a very long time. I can’t remember the last time, if ever, that I had one where she was walking. Even when I was a little girl, the Erin in my dreams was in a wheelchair. It has taken a long time, but I am so happy my wish has finally been granted. What a great way to start the day.
I haven’t posted it in a while, mainly because I’ve kind of switched gears to Autism. UCP is an excellent place to donate money to. Like all groups, there is always more money going out than coming in. I am a little biased and would love to see your charitable donation go directly to Delrey School, I think I spent as much time there as a child as I did at home. In the form, choose a local affiliate and then pick UCP of Maryland. Everyone dollar counts and the staff, kids and parents are so grateful for them.
great post