My zaide mentioned to my dad when we went out to dinner that he should have moms unveiling the same weekend as my cousins wedding, because everyone will already be in town. How tacky. And tacky is a mild word for it.
Dad is having it in June. He spoke with my uncle (the brides father) and said that the bride, and he, are ok with having the unveiling on Friday (the wedding is Saturday night). My father said he wouldn’t do it then, so it is a non-issue.
I think my uncle & cousin were guilted into agreeing it was ok the same weekend.
How awful to have a headstone unveiling before a wedding!
So it will be in June, like we were planning anyway. My zaide says it has to be after a year. My uncle says it has to be within a year, but if it’s after a year, that’s ok too. I said, so, it doesn’t really matter when it is, huh? Basically.
So my dad is going to order the stone, and it will say Phyllis Johnpoll, beloved wife, daughter and rara. Yes, he is writing rara on it. Good for him.
He was going to have grandmother put on it, and I said no, they never called her gram, so I said put rara on it. So he is.
I think that’s about it.
Good for your dad! My Rabbi always says that it is forbidden to celebrate two Simchas at the same time, that it weakens both of them and leaves neither whole. A simcha should be celebrated simply for what it is, be it a Bris, a wedding, a conversion, a bar mitzvah, or a holiday. This is why we are forbidden from having weddings on Shabbat or holidays. So that we can have the full sweetness of the sabbath, and the full sweetness of the wedding.
To try to combine a ritual of mourning with a simcha is unthinkable, and I doubt even if your father had wanted it, that a Rabbi would have agreed.
More power to you and your dad, don’t let the bitterness of loss mar the joy of your cousins wedding, and don’t let the joy of your cousins wedding decrease the mourning which must take place.
((hugs))